I really dislike the thinking time i'm having really upsets me!

Also i hate that i'm growing up its like as soon as you hit 17/18 the world wants u to slave away so u can feed its greed of money, well! what about my greed of money? how am i supposed to buy myself things on $7 dollars an hour, i can barley feed my alcohol dependency.

I'm beginning to regret leaving school when i did, i really coming to miss all my friends and how much closer we were at school i'm finding myself getting more and more isolated but i have no one to blame but myself i bring it all upon me. 

I really want to meet a girl, i need a new love, i want to get my life in order and it starts with a companion,

 i fail at finding them tho, really could do with some help.